We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
