well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
