so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
