he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
