The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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