Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i came on her dog
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
