How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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