so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
