Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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