My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he puts the penis in happiness.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I lost the right to judge tonight
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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