I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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