everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
