Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
