You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The struggles of a small town man whore
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
