i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
