xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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