You're completely useless in the revolution.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
