My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
