The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
