he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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