Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
