12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So much rum. So many feels.
whose parrot is this?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
