4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
