I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
