I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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