He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
