Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
