yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
