The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
