but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
