The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
