I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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