If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
