it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
