I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
