He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
