No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
