When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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