i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
