If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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