i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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