i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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