Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
