yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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