Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You were trust falling into bushes
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
