it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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