Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
