drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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