who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
