Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
